Give me a hand

January 22, 2010 § Leave a comment

I woke up today
to a rare occurrence: I had nothing to rant about. That’s not to say the world is safe from my brand of acid for the rest of the day, but for now, I am strangely content. Maybe it has something to do with spending a few hours, outdoors, with the two strangest friends I’ve had the fortune to meet, just talking about the usual stuff. By outdoors, I mean a sidewalk cafe in the busiest area of downtown Sand Globe and by the usual stuff, I mean sex (or our lack thereof).
Last night’s topic was size. This has been an ongoing discussion (moaning sessions, really, to be honest) for some time now as we’re planning to bring mayhem to a country not renowned for having the most endowed men (yeah, you know who you are, we’re not naming names here). Don’t ask how but someone found an ancient secret recipe with how-to instructions on er . . . enhancing the male member.
Now this may very well bring us the Nobel Peace Prize, I mean seriously, where there’s a happy woman, there is peace. But at the moment, the big question is, who do we try this on. You can’t tell a Significant Other, “Hey, let’s get you a bigger weiner.” Nor can you go up to a stranger on the street and say, “You look like just the right guy for this mission.” The lack of subjects to . . . er  . . . experiment on notwithstanding, we will persevere. So let this be your head’s up, men of earth. And beware of the girl who brings a tub of mayonnaise to bed with you.
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