January 25, 2010 § Leave a comment

The Sand Globe is home to the region’s largest mall, the world’s tallest building and the universe’s stupidest drivers. I know because I’ve had to deal with them at least twice a day for the past 5 years. Here’s my Top Ten List of Basic Things Sand Globe Taxi Drivers Should Know:

10. I am not your sounding board. I tune out even my closest friends. What makes you think I want to listen to you and your gurgling?

9. I may have a Filipino accent but there is no way my GO STRAIGHT sounds like GO LEFT.

8. I know where I want to go and I need YOU to take me there. I do not need you to suggest I go to a place more convenient for you.

7. If you ask me to choose between routes and I do choose, do not moan and groan all the way there because you didn’t like my choice.

6. There is a lot of traffic going in and out of the area where I live. Deal with it.

5. If picking up and dropping off people is too much work for you, change jobs.

4. Have change. No matter what time of day it is.

3. If you need directions, ask ahead. Driving at 120mph, two feet away from a junction is not the time to ask whether you need to go right or left.

2. How would you feel if I spoke to you in either of my two native languages?

1. No, you cannot have my number. I don’t want to be your friend.


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