Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, it’s dirty

January 26, 2010 § 2 Comments

I’m an unbalanced person. I’m practically Virginia Wolf stuffing rocks into her pockets and walking into a river (practically being the imperative word here since I’m such a ninny and a coward and would be thinking “Ohmigod it’s cold, it’s cold, this is gonna hurt, this was not a good idea . . ” – but I digress). Since as a person I am unbalanced, I do try to create some balance in my life.

I haven’t been able to succeed lately.

I work at a nuclear reactor where volatile chemicals are forever on the verge of mixing and exploding. After an entire day spent avoiding third-degree burns and trying to make sense amidst the warning announcements going on and off, there are only 2 acceptable scenarios for me:
1. come home to my house of Zen, where everything is where I left it and no one is around to tell me to straighten up from the fetal position and get off the floor and
2. meet a friend or a maximum of 2 friends to see a movie, have dinner, maybe a few drinks and gripe about life in general.

Instead, I’ve been met by 2 scenarios that seem to be on endless loop:
1. come home to a neglected house where the floor is too dirty and cold for me to lie on
2. the friend or friends I was supposed to meet had changed their plans at the last minute

Now I’m trying to nip this in the bud since too much of this usually leads to me becoming a knife-wielding maniac at the nuclear reactor (volatile chemicals in very fragile containers, not good), but there is no hope in sight yet. I’m trying to deal with Ideal Scenario No. 1 by getting up earlier in the morning to clean up and motivating myself with the thought of coming home to a pristine house. But I need suggestions on a replacement for No. 2. Any and all recommendations are welcome, and no, I haven’t sharpened the knives yet.

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