Celebrating small victories

July 1, 2010 § 2 Comments

Rhett Butler and me have been at it for almost 7 months now. Weekly arguments, desperate make-up sessions and back to the cold shoulder every few days or so. Last Saturday, I think we both finally decided we’ve had enough. For a non-relationship, this sure had very real, relationship-like emotional turmoil. I finally told him that the only way we’d talk again is if he made the effort first. It’s been hard. How do you move on from 24/7 communication to nil in 5 days? Slowly. And with a lot of deep breaths. All mobile communication has stopped. And for two nights now, we’ve had an online staring contest, daring the other to make contact first. I don’t know whether he’s finding this as difficult as I have, but today, I realized that I have moved on somewhat. I still miss him and it would be nice to hear from him. But it no longer has the power to ruin my day if he doesn’t. I stared at the green dot next to his thumbnail for a full hour and knew I wasn’t going to do anything about it. And it made me smile. Somehow, in the last year I have fulfilled my promise to myself to start growing up. And this small thing felt like such a huge victory. Today, I didn’t hope, I knew that I’m going to be okay.



§ 2 Responses to Celebrating small victories

  • loonyrain says:

    hala no i did not know about this ya. ug dili ko mangutana bahin sad ani kay sounds serious. i hope nga okay ka. and as useless andam ug tagana ko nga maminaw nimo sa imong ubang rants.

  • butang ta lang ya nga naa sad ko gamay nga pagkafuckzilla (the person, not the actions) nga di na lang nako iinflict ninyo. basta kay human na, ug okay na ko ron 🙂

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