Celebrating small victories
July 1, 2010 § 2 Comments
Rhett Butler and me have been at it for almost 7 months now. Weekly arguments, desperate make-up sessions and back to the cold shoulder every few days or so. Last Saturday, I think we both finally decided we’ve had enough. For a non-relationship, this sure had very real, relationship-like emotional turmoil. I finally told him that the only way we’d talk again is if he made the effort first. It’s been hard. How do you move on from 24/7 communication to nil in 5 days? Slowly. And with a lot of deep breaths. All mobile communication has stopped. And for two nights now, we’ve had an online staring contest, daring the other to make contact first. I don’t know whether he’s finding this as difficult as I have, but today, I realized that I have moved on somewhat. I still miss him and it would be nice to hear from him. But it no longer has the power to ruin my day if he doesn’t. I stared at the green dot next to his thumbnail for a full hour and knew I wasn’t going to do anything about it. And it made me smile. Somehow, in the last year I have fulfilled my promise to myself to start growing up. And this small thing felt like such a huge victory. Today, I didn’t hope, I knew that I’m going to be okay.