Good morning, Grumpy
July 17, 2010 § Leave a comment
Had one of those nights when I’m afraid to fall asleep and when I do, I end up waking intermittently 2 to 3 hours in between. Finally gave up the game at 7:30am. I improved my Tiki Farm, greeted a friend on his birthday and now I’m writing this entry. Inside me, Excitement and Fear are having a battle of Clash of the Titans proportions. One second I just can’t wait to get on that plane and head on home, the next I just want to cower in a dark corner and never come out into the light again. And true to form, when this happens, my brain goes on default and I try to find some warm body to keep me company till the sun comes up and I get semi-normal again. I know this kind of thinking is what gets me into trouble and I’ve struggled against it. Stocking up on sleep, anxiety and relaxation meditations. Doing some overtime on my yoga. Starting this Tiki Farm which I pretend is a Zen garden. Most times it works. At others, like this past night, it doesn’t. And I just have to endure the night as it always passes, regardless of how paranoid or neurotic I get in those dark 10 hours or so. But now the sun is up, I have plans for the day and I’m optimistic that I’ll be getting a good sleep tonight. Optimistic. Hopeful. I’ll let you know if it does happen.