Who called Diana Ross?
March 14, 2011 § Leave a comment
Sundays and Mondays are my anxiety days. Sundays because they are the first day in the work week in the Sand Globe and I’m reminded that I have missed one more opportunity to be a productive member of society. Mondays because it is the first day of the work week in the Mind Trap and I get another opportunity to start getting my hopes up for nothing.
For no reason whatsoever, the song that kept creeping in my head today is a very old song, the title of which eludes me. All I know is that it’s by Diana Ross and it goes “Heart it’s hard for you, I know, to let me let him go.” I figure it’s the universe’s way of telling me something I am not yet willing to accept. And it doesn’t help for me to open my emails and SN accounts to find messages from people, well-meaning though they may be, asking where I am and why I haven’t made an appearance yet.
Here’s one simple rule about me: Don’t ask if you don’t want to hear the answer.
It amazes me how some people think I am sitting on my ass letting the sky fall on my head. Yes, I have called anyone I could call. Yes, I have asked for help, numerous times, from various people. Yes, I know what could happen if this doesn’t work out. Yes, all I can do right now is wait.
So, no, please don’t ask me why it’s taking so long. Or why no one is doing anything about this. IT IS OUT OF MY HANDS. And no one is more heartbroken about that than me. No one feels worse about this situation than me. NO ONE is losing sleep and their appetite over all this but ME.
And if I can look the possibility of it not happening at all in the eye without tearing up, maybe you can too. Maybe we could all just take a deep breath now and start looking at scenarios where we must all just let this pass and let it go.