December 31, 2010 § Leave a comment
One of the things I remember most about my childhood is this “jingle” for Philippine Airlines. I remember it was from that time when the airline changed hands from government to private. At that time, this was cosmic change, one that everyone thought meant a better everything: service, flying times, food, etc. I loved the promise of this song, that every dawn was an opportunity for something new and exciting to come along. From the number of greetings on my Facebook wall, I am pretty sure I’m not the only one chomping at the bit to get 2010 out of the way and usher in 2011. It’s a bright, shiny new year, full of promise and what looks to be better times. I’ll have to bid 2010 a proper goodbye though, it was admittedly the strangest and toughest year for me. And now, on its last day, I can look back and thumb my nose at it.
TOP TEN THINGS I LEARNED IN 2010
10. There is no try, there is only do.
9. Stop complaining. If you want something badly enough, make it happen.
8. Getting up from doing things half-assed and falling on your fanny hurts now. Stop, look, listen, think before you act.
7. If you need help, ask. The worst that could happen is people will say no. And as you saw, most don’t.
6. Friends are indeed your lifeline. Be a better friend.
5. People can’t show you they care if they don’t know you need it. Speak up.
4. You are not expected to entertain people. Cry if that’s what you feel like doing.
3. There is a whole universe of things you can live without.
2. It only matters in the half hour that it’s happening in.
1. Your life is yours. Live it.
December 22, 2010 § Leave a comment
I love watching House, MD. Of course all the medical jargon go way, way over my head, but I’ve always liked being the spectator amidst people busy dealing with their own drama. If I’ve learned one thing from this show, it’s that things need to get worse for someone to figure out what the heck is going on and find the right solution. There are always two endings, either a death or a new lease on life; granted, it’s the latter more often that not, but the possibility of death is a constant and seems very real in all of the show’s 40 minutes.
So, the only point of this post is that right now, nothing has gone right for me and things have gone progressively wrong in an alarmingly short period of time. I choose to think of this as my House period, the storm before the calm. Universe, you better have a very, very good reason behind this shitstorm I’m facing right now because although I’m still laughing and able to function, inside me the disease continues to spread and rage undetected.
November 3, 2010 § 1 Comment
As mentioned in the last post, these past three months have been eye-opening, though stressful, for me. I’ve spent them in varying degrees of excitement, confusion, and down-right depression. Last Monday, I decided I’ve had enough of feeling sorry for myself and calling on friends to escape boredom and insanity. I woke up, thanked God for the blessings I receive daily (a roof over my head, food to eat, relative health, a marketable talent, etc.), and decided to take the day off – from worry, anxiety, paranoia, and just plain bullishness. This must have caused some upset in the universe as I found myself the recipient of tiny blessings that made my day more enjoyable. I left the house and bought something at a pharmacy and got a surprise discount. I took the train and found out that it was National Public Transport day and that all rides from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. were free. I took the train to the posh side of town and spent three hours reading a book at the marina, feeling refreshed and at peace along with joggers, bikers, and rollerbladers. I then took another train to the other end of town, had an uneventful lunch, and started walking towards the creek. I spent another three hours there finishing my book. All in all, I had a very quiet and peaceful day, not to mention cheap. For so long I’ve thought of this place as the most fake and expensive place on earth. I’m glad to have found a few places I can go to and hide from my cares.
October 31, 2010 § 1 Comment
The last three months have been a test of my resilience, strength of character, and ability to roll with the punches. While I’m truly grateful for the many blessings I have received at this time, I can’t help feeling a bit beaten up. In the comedy of errors that has been my life for the past five years, I could say this is the most insane situation I have found myself in yet. I’d like to convince the powers that be that I have learned lessons in humility, adaptation, patience, and gratitude the hard way and that I’d like the opportunity to apply what I’ve learned now. But I guess they’re not done pounding the lessons on my head yet and I shall just have to flex my muscles once more and try my best to deflect the blows.
This may not be a rant-y post, but it is surely one that’s close to defeat. Dear Universe, I remind you every minute of what I need right now. I’m sure, in your infinite wisdom, you will grant it when I need it most. I now just ask for one more tiny thing: the strength to get up once this storm completely blows over.
September 25, 2010 § Leave a comment
Don’t get me wrong. I love Wee Dong Land. I like how my calves are much thinner and my thighs are much firmer with all the walking I have to do every day. I’m amazed that I can eat as much as I want and still not get fat because the food choices here are much healthier and see point 1. I enjoy discovering tiny obscure shops with even more obscure merchandise, and I haven’t even begun on the sex shops yet. I love how everything is foreign and yet familiar at the same time. And the booze, available anywhere, drink anywhere booze. Most of all, I love how everyone just takes my being here for granted, like I’m not a foreigner at all. But somehow, in those 25 minutes I spend squished inside the train, contemplating another 25 minutes of being squished again in another train, I can’t stop this nagging voice in my head that keeps asking, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
September 23, 2010 § Leave a comment
Wow. I haven’t written here for over a month. Thankfully, I can say that’s mostly because I’ve been rantless. Partly, it’s because I’m trying this new thing where I actually think before I speak. In any case, this time away from the Sand Globe has done me a lot of good. I’ve had quite a zen experience exploring places I find interesting, eating strange food, and just being myself for a while, that me who’s energetic and willing to try out new things. This time has also made me realize that the phrase “Be careful what you wish for” is quite unnecessary. You do have to wish for things and you do have to get them, if only to find out that you don’t want them after all.